Did you know that rats when stressed by researchers in a laboratory will bite other rats to dispel the pain of electrical shocks? I find it remarkable how many mammal (and bird) species have the same reaction as we, humans, when stressed. Now granted, we don’t go biting other humans as a result of stress, but we do dispel stress by blaming the situation, the people etc. When I heard of this experiment, I was struck by how blame is a universal reaction to pain. And it hurts both the sender and the receive, just like it did in the experiment with rats.
Another striking similarity between humans and rats is found in what helps dispel stress. The researchers then found that when the stressed rats were put in close proximity to a friendly rat, the stressed rats’ reactions changed in a positive direction. They calmed down! So the presence of a friendly being (sometimes for me it is my cat!) dispels stress. What a remarkable property of love!
In another experiment conducted in the United Kingdom, human subjects were shown disturbing images with a loaded negative emotional content. Not surprisingly, those subjects’ heart rates rose when impacted by the negative content of those images. Then these same subjects were asked to think of someone they loved. And lo! Their heart rates and blood pressure dropped. Thinking of someone you love can heal you!
I want to emphasize how minute changes eventually result in significant changes. When you fly an airplane from New York to London, changing the trajectory even by one degree results in big changes at the end of the route. That is because you change the direction of the plane. If when flying from New York to London you changed the trajectory by one degree, do you know where you would end up? In Moscow!
So apply this metaphor to busting stress and you will change the direction of your health. First, what is needed is to fire up your will to change. Next, use your will to practice the desired change by focusing on the desired change by imagining how it would feel to experience that particular change. Make a conscious habit to notice, simply notice, your reactions to stressors. After you notice, focus on your desired result and let go of the reaction to the stressor. The perfect tool to embed the change in your body and mind is your uniquely human ability to focus. We, as humans, have this unique gift of being aware while watching ourselves. In that awareness of being aware lies the potential to change if we practice it. It is so simple and yet it requires practice to become effective.
The most difficult arena to practice resisting blame is in interactions with others. Our reactions to others are often so immediate throughout our gut, our chest, our back that it takes a lot of practice to master this. The resulting freedom and joy over our internal ability to control ourselves is far more rewarding than blame which leaves a host of toxic neurochemicals in its wake. There is so much joy in being the stewart of our internal landscape! Now when I notice my reaction, I make a conscious, aware effort to change its direction by appreciating those who love me and whom I love. Have fun practicing! I promise it will not hurt you. Quite to the contrary, it will literally heal you .
